Internets, I'm worried about being pregnant with triplets. About the genetic screening we plan to have done, what the results will be and the decisions we will make thereafter. About having a difficult pregnancy, about the possibility of bed rest and how my husband will do everything wrong while I'm incapacitated. That I will gain a ton of weight on top of the 20 extra pounds I didn't manage to lose before getting pregnant (truth be told, I didn't try very hard) and develop gestational diabetes which I am already predisposed to on my mother's side. That my job will suffer and I won't be able to recover from being off for so long.
About having babies in the middle of freaking winter in New England and having to figure out how to get them into the car parked on our ski slope driveway. Also, the fact that I don't think we can fit three car seats into either of our cars. Or three cribs into our designated baby room (do they make double deckers?) That we have no family nearby who can help us. That my husband's mother will move in with us and take over my house and I'll hate it.
That we will have premature 3 pound babies with health issues that will follow them their whole lives. That I won't be able to nurse three babies and give them the start I want to. That I will be so overwhelmed with three infants and no sleep and having my mother-in-law living with us that I will resent them all and secretly wish for a different life.
Or that this pregnancy will end and we will have no babies and I know I don't want to go through this again and then we will be childless and get a dog and go on great vacations and continue to be everyone's favorite aunt and uncle and for the rest of our livesalways wonder "what if?"
Elise,
ReplyDeleteThese are all normal worries and no one can make them go away. But may I share some of my experiences with you?
I had an excrutiatingly difficult pregnancy - even for a triple pregnancy. And I survived! So did my husband and our foster son! I survived bed rest. I survived hospital bed rest. I survived a c-section that I didn't want to have. I survived and thrived! Honest!
I can't help you with the weight gain (I lost a ton of weight while I was pregnant, which wasn't great) - except to tell you that gaining weight is a good thing for those babies. But let your body be your guide - your body and your doctor. Don't let the Barbara Luke book (which tells you to gain 50-75 pounds, and implies that you don't love your future babies if you don't) guilt you if you don't reach her goals. (I hate that book, can you tell?) Gestational diabetes is more likely in triplet pregnancies than singleton pregnancies. The irony is that one of the side effects of GD is... bigger babies. It also can affect lung development, but you're more likely to have steroid shots to aid in lung development anyway, so that helps to negate that risk. GD is very controllable, so don't worry too much about that.
Will your job suffer? A little. But you'll be able to recover. Don't worry too much about that - you'll cross that bridge when you have to.
It'll be challenging to get the babies in the car in the middle of winter, but it would have been challenging to get one baby in the car anyway. Triplet moms are resourceful - truly. You will work this one out. If your cars won't fit three car seats, you may need to consider whether getting a new car or minivan is an option.
You won't need three cribs right away. My babies shared a single pack n' play for a couple months. Worry not.
DON'T LET YOUR MOTHER IN LAW MOVE IN WITH YOU IF YOU DON'T WANT HER TO. See? problem solved.
I breastfed my three babies exclusively. It can be done. (technically, actually, Abby wouldn't breastfeed - but she wouldn't drink formula either, so I pumped for her and she only had breastmilk for an entire year... the other two did get about 6 ounces of formula per day starting around 5 months old after I was back at work, but for the first five months, they had no formula at all) Breastfeeding three babies takes some commitment and work, but it CAN be done. I am living proof.
3 pound babies ARE healthy babies. I had babies ranging from 2 1/2 pounds to 2 1/2 pounds. They do not have life-long issues. They were all healthy. They needed to be in the NICU for about a month, but that was just to grow and learn to regulate temperature, etc. Ellie came home on an apnea monitor, but that's normal. She was the only one. She had a couple other issues after discharge - but they were issues any baby could have had. Abby (my 2 1/2 pounder) had a couple issues in the NICU, but nothing that will remain an issue. Sam's issues were minimal. They are all thriving now (they'll be two next month).
My first few months with my babies weren't nearly as stressful as I'd anticipated that they would be. I loved that time with them, believe it or not. We didn't have any help and I definitely wouldn't change that if I had that time to live over again.
I know this time is really hard. I'm thinking of you and I'm here if you need me. You've got my email and my phone numbers, so if you need someone to talk to - please don't hesitate to reach out.
I can't even imagine how scary this all is for you. No advice other than to say I've learned usually things aren't as bad as I imagine. Things I worried about turn out to be easily dealt with and I wonder why I worried to begin with.
ReplyDeleteI'll be here reading and supporting you along the way! Sending lots of hopeful *hugs*!
Also, have you ever read the blog http://tubelessinseattle.blogspot.com/ ? She is going through a triplet pregnancy right now too and might be nice to talk with.
ReplyDeleteI can understand your worries. If you have a multiples club in your area, join it. Search for twin or multiples clubs on the internet. I think the best thing is to get advice from those who have been through it. They can also offer help after you deliver.
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