15 weeks

Not much new on the pregnancy progression front; still growing a belly, still nauseous and pukey but eating better (relatively speaking) and easily winded. As in, I walk up one flight of stairs and am huffing and puffing in the most embarassing way. I'm ready for activation of my second trimester super powers any time but they are still MIA. Was I supposed to fill out a form or something?

People have been saying weird things to me. More than one coworker has heard about my pregnancy and approached with with congratulations, which is very nice until they get to the follow-up questions. Just this morning, in fact, I ran into a colleague in our cafeteria who was giddy with excitement (why are 50+ year-old woman so excited about pregnancy? I find it odd and somewhat disturbing). After the usual "how are you feeling, how far along" questions, her manner became very serious and she said "you're going to need help, you know" followed by "there's no way I could do it." To which I replied "no shit, Sherlock yes, we'll probably need a hand" and "I really don't have a choice WTF? seriously?."

It's like people think I'm sitting around eating sushi and soft cheese with a glass of wine while ordering baby Uggs and silver rattles online. Don't get me wrong, I am in no way offended by such comments, I just can't imagine that anyone who knows of our situation would think we were doing anything other than obsessively running through our options and trying to prepare for the parenting tsunami heading our way. Trust me, people who have never been pregnant with triplets, this scares me way more than it does you.

14 weeks

Let's see, where were we? Oh yes, I was still feeling incredibly icky and waking up nauseous and pukey in the middle of the night. Last week was pretty rough and I ended up staying home from work on Friday because I woke up sick at 2 am and then 4 am and couldn't get back to sleep. It was so worth a sick day; I slept all morning and then had another nap in the afternoon and felt somewhat refreshed by the evening. It takes a lot of energy to put on a happy face and charge through my day pretending I'm not on the verge of vomiting in front of my coworkers, truly it does.

The weekend went pretty well, I woke up feeling nearly normal on Saturday so we headed out to the Sear's outlet to buy a new refrigerator. Our current fridge was old when we bought the house, the door handle falls off constantly and it's definitely not big enough for a family of five, especially when we have visitors. We found my dream refrigerator (French door, bottom freezer) for 45% off retail price so we bought it and it was delivered the next day. As with most items at the outlet, it is brand new but with some visible damage: fortunately this one just has a few dents that aren't really visible and some scraping on the freezer door handle that we will doctor with some touch-up paint. It is beautiful (I keep sneaking into the kitchen to gaze upon its loveliness) and so much quieter than our old one, which now lives in the garage as our overflow cold storage.

I don't want to jinx things, but I *may* *possibly* be feeling better. Still fussy about foods, still mildly nauseous most of the time, but I managed to go to the grocery store on Monday and actually buy ingredients for a few dinners; actual meal planning, it's progress. Today I enjoyed a cup of black tea for the first time in 7 weeks and managed to go 4 hours without eating anything with no negative ramifications. I've got my fingers crossed, but I'm not declaring myself out of the woods yet.

There has been progress in the baby belly; there is really no hiding the fact that I am pregnant at this point. It's really sensitive, I don't even like my husband touching it. I think I'm at 4-5 pounds for weight gain at this point, but our scale is kind of fickle so I'm not positive. We have been having fun thinking about names, although my husband is not taking the process as seriously as he should. For three girls, he suggested we use the ABC theme and celebrate our three nationalities with America, Bosnia and Canada and he thinks it would be hilarious to have three boys named Jeremiah, Jedediah and Jebediah. All I have to say about that is that the nurses in the hospital will be under strict instructions not to let him near the birth certificates.

13 weeks

Hi there babies, it's me, Mom.

Remember me, the owner of the uterus where you are currently hosting your wild house party? I'm delighted that you are making yourselves at home, but do you think you could quit with the secreting of whatever toxins or other chemicals that are making me sick? I imagine it's hilarity akin to riding a really awesome roller coaster when I throw up, but it's time to stop, OK? Mommy doesn't like emptying the contents of her stomach and spending every waking minute trying not to throw up is tiring and inconvenient. And what's with the middle of the night vomiting, don't you guys have thumbs to suck or something to keep yourselves entertained while I sleep? Really, it's only polite.

I promise you that once you get to the other side and start breathing air with the rest of us, I'm not going to question your diet or lifestyle choices. But Mommy is not a vegetarian and she'd appreciate being able to have a steak or a pork chop once in a while. She'd also appreciate a little more leniency with the fresh fruit and vegetables and she'd really, really like to be able to have a chai latte sometime in the next 22 weeks. Trust me, it's never too soon to have open minds, which is something you might want to consider if you have any leanings towards tattoos or body piercings in your futures. Pay it forward, you won't regret it.

Love,

Mom

My crunchy granola side

I really, really want to use cloth diapers. I did a rough back-of-the-envelope calculation and estimated we would spend $9000 on disposable diapers over three years. I'm pretty sure I could buy a complete set of the adorable Fuzzibunz diapers for less than $1000, and there's no way we would spend another $8000 on water/electricity/detergent. Frankly, it would be nice to put that money into college funds rather than literally throwing it away. Plus, the idea of disposing human waste into a landfill is abhorrent to me, it really is supposed to go into the sewage system so that it can be properly treated. My husband is revolted by the idea of diapers in general (he has never changed a diaper in his life) so he has no real objections (and is foolishly hoping his no-diaper changing record will remain intact).

Am I crazy to even think of undertaking such an enterprise with triplets?

Just another pregnant woman

I had my first real OB appointment yesterday with Dr. Awesome and Nurse B. It was so nice to walk into a waiting room full of pregnant women and feel like I belonged. Granted, I have a big old red sticker in my file reminding everyone of our high risk triplet status, but for the first time no one treated me like the fertility treatment failure that I have felt like up to now. Very refreshing. I was there for about an hour and half and came away feeling like I have a plan and an idea as to what the next few weeks are going to look like. Starting in October I will have weekly ultrasounds to check the length of my cervix. According to Dr. Awesome, if it doesn't start to shorten by 23 weeks it is unlikely to do so and I will graduate to bi-weekly appointments until my scheduled c-section after 35 weeks or I go into labor, whichever comes first. On average, triplet pregnancies last 32 weeks, but I fully intend to be one of those data points on the high end of the curve. Dr. Awesome told me that if I make it to 35 weeks I'll get to take the babies home with me, so that's my plan and I'm sticking to it. Other important events in October will be the big anatomy (and hopefully gender-revealing) ultrasound and a consulation with a cardiologist. The last one is not so fun, but Dr. Awesome has observed an increased incidence of cardiomyopathy in women of advanced maternal age with high order multiples and monitors all of his triplet moms who are over the age of 35.

Yesterday I told my manager that I was pregnant and he was thrilled for me, even after his eyes widened when I got to the triplet part. He also told me he'd been wondering for the last week or so because I have been "standing like a pregnant woman." My husband's supervisor said his wife asked him if I was pregnant after we saw them socially a couple of weeks ago, so I guess I'm definitely showing. So much for me thinking I was still incognito; the whole office is probably speculating about me and I'm the only one out of the loop. I won't be able to hide it much longer, I'm totally growing a baby belly and can no longer button any of my pants. This morning I had to resort to the elastic band trick to keep my jeans on. Thank heavens leggings, baggy tops and chunky sweaters are in style, hopefully I can get away without having to buy maternity clothes for a while longer.

In other news, I am cautiously optimistic that the nausea may be abating. I'm eating better (less frequently and healthier foods) and the horrible taste in my mouth is noticeably less horrible. Cinnamint Orbit is still my best friend, along with Hot Tamales, cinnamon Altoids and Genmaicha. I still shudder at the thought of a big hunk of meat, but I've been able to enjoy some juicy falling-off-the-bone roast chicken and homemade turkey curry meatball soup. My husband and I joined a gym last night and are planning to go swimming 3-4 times per week for as long as my doctor says it's ok (currently I have no restrictions). Bed rest is a real possibility at some point during the next 23 weeks, and I'd like to maintain as much muscle tone as possible in preparation (also because I'll be having major abdominal surgery).

Consultations & decisions

We had our triplet pregnancy consultation yesterday. It was a full day affair, starting with the nuchal translucency ultrasound and an opportunity to spend 20 minutes watching our little fetuses flip and stretch in their individual condos. They were all sleeping when the technician started, but soon woke up and started wriggling. One was curled up on his/her back with fists next to the face. Freaking adorable, I tell you. The results showed no indication of potential abnormalities which reduces my overall risk by 70% which was the best possible outcome.

After a lunch break we went back and spent an hour with the genetic counsellor. She was wonderful, and gave us lots of good information. I was surprised/disappointed to find out that they won't do either CVS or amniocentesis for all three fetuses as the risk of total pregnancy loss is too high. They will test 2/3 which didn't make much sense to us since we were hoping to get definitive information on whether there were abnormalities present that would warrant doing reduction. Next, we met with the doctor who gave us additional reality checks. I was hoping he would consider my specific circumstances and give me an indication of whether or not I was a good candidate for carrying this pregnancy, but he said in his 16 years of experience with multiples, there is no way to judge whether or not someone will have a good or bad outcome. Lots of statistics about risks due to prematurity, it was quite sobering.

After going home and talking it through, we decided that based on the information we have and our good NT results, we will go forward with the pregnancy. I'm still terrified, but it does feel like the right decision for us. My first prenatal appointment will be next week. Our practice delivers 25-30 sets of triplets per year and their average gestational age is 32 weeks. I'm hoping to get to the magical 35 weeks when the babies come home with you from the hospital, which gives us a due date range from the end of January to the middle of February. Which means they have a chance of being born on my 40th birthday, Groundhog Day or Valentine's Day. Hmm...

I have to admit that I am starting to doubt that the second trimester will bring me any relief from the nausea, which seems to be intensifying, especially in the puking department. Seriously, it is really difficult to cope. Twice, I have thrown up so violently that I got nose bleeds - I could actually feel a capillary pop. I wish I was exaggerating, I really do. The only things that get me through the day are eating regularly (although I have zero enjoyment of doing so and never feel hungry) and chewing gum constantly. Sometimes I even go to sleep with a mint in my mouth although I know it's not the greatest idea, it being a choking hazard and all, but you do what you have to do.

I think I'm going to set up a new blog to document our pregnancy. I'd like to be able to print out the blog as a memento for the kids and don't really want all the IF stuff included. Not that I won't tell them, but I don't think it fits into a baby book. I'll keep updating here until I do so.

Holy, holy, we're having babies!

10x10

10 weeks

(of pregnancy under my belt)

10 months

(since our first appointment with the clinic)

10 minutes

(time spent by our RE giving us the news of our triplet pregnancy)

(yes, I am bitter, she didn't even say "congratulations")

10 hours

(tminimum amount of sleep I need per day right now)

10x per day

(number of times I need to eat to keep the nausea at bay)

10 litres

(estimated volume of gas filling my intestines)

(no weight gain, but can barely button my pants)

10 Google searches

(made by my husband on topic of "triplets and older women")

10 pages

(in packet of introductory information sent by my prospective MFM clinic)

10 pages

(of introductory packet dedicated to topic of selective reduction)

(not even a paragraph of it was on prenatal information)

(WTF?)

10 thousand questions

(to which I have no answers)

Thanks for the supportive comments on my last post. We are muddling through and counting the days until our first appointment with our MFM practice next week.